In October 2021, I started to feel tired all the time. I could get a full night's sleep, but it would not make a difference. I was so lethargic. Fast forward a couple of months and I constantly needed the toilet. This was not right. It was not me. It was not my normal.

So, I went to the GP, and it was suggested that I am a woman of a ‘certain age’. The nights sweats, the tiredness, and the sleepless nights, were all down to menopause.

This went on for six months and during this time, I had a routine appointment with my dermatologist. At the end of the consultation, I was asked if I had my stomach checked out.

“Your stomach is bloated. It’s distended. It’s out of shape. So, if it was weight gain, it would look different. So, you need to go and get this checked out”, my dermatologist said.

That is when the alarm bells started ringing for me.

Now when I look back, this is where the symptoms ovarian cancer, started to appear. However, I did not have any knowledge of gynecological cancers symptoms.

I went back to my GP and was only offered phone appointments. I was never seen face to face. This went on for months, until I was offered a blood test and an ultrasound. Then everything changed. Within the space of ten days, I had more blood tests, an ultrasound, a CT scan, an MRI scan and a diagnosis of suspected ovarian cancer.

In March 2022, I was diagnosed with ovarian cancer and the big thing for me was deciding on what course of treatment I wanted to start with.

I decided to go for surgery. My operation took place in April. However, the doctors found that the cancer had spread further than the scans were showing.

When my surgery failed. I was distraught. When you build yourself up for surgery, you develop the mental strength to cope with such a large procedure. Whilst you are still processing the fact that you have just been diagnosed with cancer.

I spent six weeks at home recovering, while my next steps were being decided, which ended up being chemotherapy, to try and shrink the tumors so that the doctors could try to operate again.

My chemotherapy started in June 2022 and lasted twelve weeks. I suffered with several side effects from treatment, before the oncologist decided I should stop and have another scan. However, there was no change. 

My chemotherapy started in June 2022 and lasted twelve weeks. I suffered with several side effects from treatment, before the oncologist decided I should stop and have another scan. However, there was no change. 

It felt like my options were getting smaller and smaller. I kept thinking, ‘had my diagnosis been sooner, would I be in this position?’.

My oncologist suggested oral chemotherapy, but that nearly broke me during the seven weeks. I developed a rash on my face and spread to my whole body. When I was hospitalised, I was given a support booklet. However, I couldn’t find anything about rashes on non-white skin. I couldn’t see anyone that looked like me.

My skin was still trying to repair itself, weeks after stopping the medication. I was constantly shivering. I had hot water bottles, blankets, jackets, you name it. I was still freezing.

This was the hardest part of my journey. I felt defeated. I couldn’t sit up without somebody helping me. For a person that is so independent to lose my independence in that way, broke me.

I could see the pain in my husband and children's eyes, when they were looking at me, because they were so helpless.

Cancer affects you physically, but the emotional and mental toil, not just for the patient but also the family, is heartbreaking.

When it came for my second surgery, the rash was still present and across my scar site. The doctor was concerned, and I had a small window to get the scar area clear to allow for surgery. So, I had to visit a private dermatologist for treatment.

When it came time to operate, I said to my doctor, ‘how much are you hoping to be able to get?’. She said, ‘if I get 50%, I would be ok with that’.

But I countered her with ‘you know what? It is going to be a good day. You are going to get it all. You are going to get a miracle’.

On the 7th of February 2023, I had my surgery, and it was brilliant, and I am 100% tumor free!

The day after the operation my surgeon came up to visit me on the ward and she gave me a hug. She said, 'you gave me my miracle’.

This year, I am one year cancer free, and I am living, loving and thriving!

When you have a cancer diagnosis, it is like you are on a speeding train, because you must become an expert overnight.

Looking back, there are parts of my journey which I wish I had known earlier, like you could ask for a second opinion. I hope that support materials are becoming more inclusive, as that was something I struggled with, not seeing myself in something that was supposed to offer me reassurance.

If you can relate to Sbba's story, always see your doctor if you have any concerns.

If you need to access a support service, you can find information at Ovarian Cancer Action, Target Ovarian Cancer and Ovacome.