Talk about the menopause

Making it ok to talk about the menopause is the most important thing we can do to support people struggling with the menopause.

If we all talk openly about menopause, menopause symptoms and our own experiences, it becomes much easier for those who are struggling to open up and get the support that they need. Ask your friend or colleague if they would like to talk to you about how they are feeling.

Keep in mind that not everyone will want to talk about certain symptoms or feelings with you. They may only feel comfortable talking to specific people and that’s ok.

Things you can say

Ask open questions

Open questions can invite someone to share how they’re doing if they want to.

Questions you could ask:

• How are you feeling?
• What are you going through?
• How can I support you?
• What is making this harder for you?
• What do you need?

Let them know you are there

You might think it goes without saying, but it can be really helpful to directly tell someone who is struggling that you are there for them. Make it clear you are happy to help and can make time for them.

Words of encouragement

People can lose confidence and self-esteem during the menopause. Words of encouragement can help build people up and make them feel seen, uplifted and empowered. Remind people of their strengths and the things they are good at. Invite them to engage with a range of people or activities to help them feel good about themselves even when experiencing menopause symptoms.

Things to remember

Respect privacy

It’s really important to always respect someone's wishes around privacy and not share information with others unless they have asked you to.

Be patient

Allow time in a conversation for people to think about their responses. They may feel unsure about opening up or could be struggling with menopause related brain fog that can make having difficult conversations harder.

Don’t make assumptions

Remember that everyone’s menopause experience is different. We should not assume we know how someone is feeling or what they need. Symptoms, effects and appropriate solutions will vary from person to person.

Some people will struggle to ask for help

The menopause is a very personal matter and for some people it can feel daunting or embarrassing to share their symptoms with others. There are many understandable reasons why people might feel apprehensive to talk about their menopause:

• Previous experiences of negative attitudes in the workplace.
• People might not be sure that their line manager or colleagues will be sympathetic.
• Worries about having their confidentiality and privacy protected.
• Fear of judgement from colleagues.
• Fear that people will see them as less able to do their job.
• Concerns that job security or promotion opportunities might be taken away.
• Transgender and non-binary people may find it more challenging to discuss menopause symptoms.